“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” This is the Golden Rule. It has origins in many ancient cultures and it is an ethical cornerstone for many religions. Long before Aristotle it was recognized that societies are strengthened when people get along. The Golden Rule has breadth, good common sense, and a seeming simplicity for helping to create good relationships.
   

Most people don’t spend a lot of time thinking about the specifics of how they want to be treated and even if they do, it might be difficult for them to put those specifics into words or actions. I’ve spent over thirty years as a psychologist in private practice thinking about how people ought to treat one another and I’m putting some of that thinking into words for you. My goal, however, is to not only present compelling ideas but also to help you create action plans for improving your relationship. Throughout this book, I am going to guide, direct, encourage and motivate you so that improvement actually occurs.
   

Part of the title of this book is Rules and Tools for creating a healthy relationship. All of the section headings are Rules and many of the statements in boxes are Tools. While these Rules and Tools could also be called pointers, guidelines, suggestions or advice, the words rules and tools were chosen for a particular reason. The word rule was chosen to emphasize that this is something you should do, even if you don’t want to, and it should be done with intention and commitment. Tools are suggestions for behaving or thinking, that have practical utility for implementing the Rules to help you have a more fulfilling personal life and healthier relationships.